What If Pets Used The Internet?

Today find me in a slighly humorous mood. I read an article about a new collar that enables cats to use twitter to talk to their owners throughout the day and it got me thinking… what if our pets really could use the Internet? What sites would they like? What would they tell us?

Here what came to mind…

Birds would use Twitter… obviously… the logo is a bird! Plus, birds have small brains and probably couldn’t think of more than 140 characters at any one time. They would spend all day retweeting everything they happened to see, “Polly want a cracker?”

Dogs would probably prefer a blog. They could use it to broadcast to the world many times daily just how hungry they are, perhaps install a widget to lick unsuspecting readers and complain incessantly anout that darn itch behind their right ear. Blog posts would end quite abruptly, usually with the word “squirrel”, “ball” or “mailman.”

Cats would insist on Facebook, due to it’s apparent ability to rule the globe… plus they could have their own virtual aquarium. They would build a huge network of cat friends whom they would chat with regularly, during the 4 hours they are awake daily, sharing ideas on how to best torment the dog and achieve household (if not world) dominance. They would also start random groups like “I like to trip my human at the top of the stairs and laugh at them when they fall!”

Snakes would prefer Twitter and wouldn’t post much because their tails would hurt if they had to type too often.

Fish most definately prefer the slower pace of LinkedIn. They don’t like having too many people in their space or being able to interact too much… LinkedIn is perfect for this.

Rabbits would have one of everything and be constantly updating. Their constant supply of energy would allow them to continue doing this for as long as the computer lasted… although the keyboard would have to be replaced frequently due to all the bouncing.

There you have my list. What do you think your pet would do if given the chance to get online?

Tags: Humor